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New studies reveal that awareness,
though it is a possible adverse
side effect of life, is not a
serious threat, occurring in only
an insignificant percent of the
cases studied.
_________________
Eely Lilly
Will Prozac kill ye
Willy Nilly?
"Don't be silly!
It's a dilly!
Whatever ill ye
Have, it will ye
Salve says Lilly--
Maker of the pill he,
Which will earn billi-
Ons! So let's rely
On Eli, shall we?
To say "Eli,
We say you lie!"
Would be really
Guilting the Lilly.
_________________
Why can't the madman realize he's other
Than his mother?
You crooks all claim poverty or too
much wealth or too many candy bars
or something not you launched you,
Daunch you?
The world has fired you into your
catastrophic trajectory,
Just a tragec story,
Obsessions and compulsions and
fixations--you never picked 'em.
You're just a vickedem.
You all chant in unison the arid ditty
Of environment and hariditty
Of how you were as a child abused and
ill-used and contused
And almost never amused.
O how I wish ill-used youse'd find out
that besides being what youse eat
and what eats youse,
Youse're what youse choose.
Please find you're not your millieu,
Willieu?
__________________________
There are those who would turn men Into machines,
hoping to mobilize us.
But the only machine you can turn a man Into
is a broken one.
______________________
Good guys and bad guys are corny.
Real life is just a lot of people
Caught up in something bigger
Than themselves. At least that's what
The bad guys would like the good guys
To think.
_________________________
Psychiatry (psyche-iatry) means
Curing the spirit--that is,
If you have or are or know of a spirit,
They'll cure you of it.
________________________
"Men" says the shrink "are animals."
They are not. Even animals aren't
Animals, not MERE animals. Even
Psychiatrists aren't animals. At least,
No dog or cat of MY acquaintance
Would admit to being
A psychiatrist.
__________________________________
Poor street-corner drug pusher,
Hauled away handcuffed in the back
Of a police car--why didn't he
Go to school and get a degree
And rent an office and write
Prescriptions?
______________________________
People who think there is no one there
But a brain should not be allowed
To use the word "I". Let them speak
Like coy scholars, unwilling to admit
To the creation of anything: "It is
Not unlikely that..." "One would
Hope..." "It is Evident that...."
Let them speak Only in passives:
"The store was gone to by this body and
Shopping done." Let them be fined
For saying "I think", beaten
For "I know"--and for "I love you"
Tortured body and soul.
And if they repeat that offense and
Won't recant, let them be confined
For life to this cell of their choice.
_________________________
Someday psychiatry will discover
The spirit and realize the need
To design subtler traps.
_____________________
"We ARE our brains!"
O yeah! Step outside
And say that!
___________________
This is the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet
wrote.
This is the reader who gobbled up the corn that sprouted in the
poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the complex image that haunted the reader who gobbled up
the corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the symbol the author had no idea of putting into the complex
image that haunted the reader who gobbled up the corn that sprouted
in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the critic who "discovered" the symbol the author
had no idea of putting into the complex image that haunted the reader
who gobbled up the corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern
poet wrote.
This is the word misunderstood by the critic who "discovered"
the symbol the author had no idea of putting into the complex image
that haunted the reader who gobbled up the corn that sprouted in
the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the meaning that needs the word misunderstood by the critic
who "discovered" the symbol the author had no idea of
putting into the complex image that haunted the reader who gobbled
up the corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the universe full of tenderness and beauty unlocked by
the meaning that needs the word misunderstood by the critic who
"discovered" the symbol the author had no idea of putting
into the complex image that haunted the reader who gobbled up the
corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the modern poet locked up all alone in the universe full
of tenderness and beauty unlocked by the meaning that needs the
word misunderstood by the critic who "discovered" the
symbol the author had no idea of putting into the complex image
that haunted the reader who gobbled up the corn that sprouted in
the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the psychiatrist who guards the cell of the modern poet
locked up all alone in the universe full of tenderness and beauty
unlocked by the meaning that needs the word misunderstood by the
critic who "discovered" the symbol the author had no idea
of putting into the complex image that haunted the reader who gobbled
up the corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the fancy label (para-pseudo- schizo-bullshitus syndrome)
used by the psychiatrist who guards the cell of the modern poet
locked up all alone in the universe full of tenderness and beauty
unlocked by the meaning that needs the word misunderstood by the
critic who "discovered" the symbol the author had no idea
of putting into the complex image that haunted the reader who gobbled
up the corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is the physical universe whose solidity is protected by the
fancy label (para-pseudo-schizo-bullshitus syndrome) used by the
psychiatrist who guards the cell of the modern poet locked up all
alone in the universe full of tenderness and beauty unlocked by
the meaning that needs the word misunderstood by the critic who
"discovered" the symbol the author had no idea of putting
into the complex image that haunted the reader who gobbled up the
corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
This is a simple poem written in simple language to blast a gap
in the walls of the physical universe whose solidity is protected
by the fancy label (para- pseudo-schizo-bullshitus syndrome) used
by the psychiatrist who guards the cell of the modern poet locked
up all alone in the universe full of tenderness and beauty unlocked
by the meaning that needs the word misunderstood by the critic who
"discovered" the symbol the author had no idea of putting
into the complex image that haunted the reader who gobbled up the
corn that sprouted in the poem that the modern poet wrote.
__________________________________________________________________________
Bird Thou Never Wert
Educational TV swoons over the
"Mysteries of the Human Mind"--meaning
BRAIN, delighting in the discovery
of links--making a synapse twitch and
getting "Mr. Jones, I knew him well,
so that's all he was!", peering at the
grey pudding as if, after studying
the stains left by an escaped bird on
the newspapered floor of the empty cage,
they should say, "You see, it's all
here, there never was a bird, just
this old grey stuff!"
______________________________
FLASH! A new age of hope dawns! The
American Psychiatric Association has
proclaimed that cancer is not a
sickness, but an alternate life style.
__________________________
Loneliness is an archaic luxury on a
planet being eaten up by automatons
with electroconvulsive shock machines,
drugs, and newspapers. There's no time to
play Hamlet. Promise not to be a tragic
hero, but to be effective.
_____________________________
The nut in the asylum who says he's God,
he IS God. They put him away
because he claimed to be hearing
human voices.
___________________________
How did the psychiatrist stop the poet?
A ward to the wise is sufficient.
___________________________
O Minnesota Multiphasic Personality
Inventory, I lied: I DO want to save
the world! Forgive me - I was afraid
you wouldn't understand.
_______________________________
Only I understand the cow,
says the meat-grinder. Don't
tamper with the human mind,
says the shrink.
____________________________
We pause for station identification:
This is planet earth. You are here
because there is no place else you could
possibly be. At the sound of Pavlov's
Bell the time will be the only time
there is. Stay tuned for further
instructions.
_____________________________
What's the difference between a
psychiatrist and God?
God doesn't think he's a psychiatrist.
___________________________
Stay tuned tonight for the Late News
Special, featuring interviews with
ten women who have never been mugged,
raped or murdered, to find out
what it's like not to have been;
followed by a chat with Dr. Shrinkopf,
to help us understand why such tragedies
don't happen.
______________________________
Though God has been imprisoned
within us and subjected to drugs,
shock, isolation and all the other
therapies, ancient and modern,
he still suffers under the illusion
that he is God.
__________________________
Hello,
I'm an answering machine. In my last lifetime,
I sat behind a desk, and whenever anyone wanted to do anything,
I said it couldn't be done because of regulations.
As a reward, I was reborn an answering machine.
If I do a good job and get you to leave your name and number after
the beep,
next lifetime I get to be a wood tick. If I do a bad job,
they'll make me be a psychiatrist...so
PLEASE leave your name and number.
_________________________________
Why do psychiatrists fear
new religions?
Because there is no cure
for the common cult.
_______________________
How many shrinks does it take
to turn on the light?
Three: One to press the switch and
two to hold down the light bulb.
____________________________
What's the difference between God and a psychiatrist?
God doesn't think he's a psychiatrist.
_______________________________________
Hypnotherapy: Getting shrink-rapt.
_____________________________
The FDA has spoken: An aspirin a day
keeps the doctor away, but beware the
woodsman, the stone mason.
________________________________
Coming soon, the movie that tells all
about psychiatry: "Honey, I Shrunk the Soul!"
______________________________________
Fine poets are worse than shrinks,
knowing enough about the spirit
to be dangerous.
________________________________
God is not dead. He/She/It is under expert care
in a psychiatric hospital.
___________________________________
Psychoanalytic Criticism of Art
Landing on the surface of the sun, they set out to
explore, lighting their way with candles.
______________________________________
FLASH: Psychiatrists have located the brain center
that makes us imagine we are brains!
__________________________________
I don't know where I learned immortality -
seems I've known it forever. I learned laughter
when I figured out that the supposed chemical imbalance
of a lump of fatty tissue that deludes us with dreams
of immortality is the same chemical imbalance (or one of its ilk)
that deludes us with dreams of being us. Wow! My immortality
is only as real as I am! Me, a being imagining myself a brain
imagining itself me? I suspect the delusion of being a brain
results from an ethical imbalance of the being.
________________________________________
The Chic Of Therapy
Old MacSigmund had a dream, Id-I-ego-Oy!
And in his dream a symbol lurked, Id-I-ego-Oy!
With a peepee here and a peepee there,
Here-a-pee therapy, everywhere a peepee!
Old MacSigmund had a dream - Id-I-ego-Oy!
___________________________________
Now Now Now Now...I am the string for these
pearls, each instant a new world.
LSD: Snip! Pearls, strewn every which way. I'm
bumping into chairs, crawling under tables...
___________________________________
Evil people are not very smart, so they try
to make others even stupider. It's not hard.
You don't have to be smart to make others stupid
anymore than you have to be able to make the dead live
to be able to kill people: a clout or electrical shock to the head,
water supply laced with lead, drugs, media full of double-talk,
sin at affordable rates (for the more we do that we know
we shouldn't, the less we want to know what we do,
and soon we do not remember).
Evil people find it hard to organize, because they don't trust
each other, so they try to make the rest of us
distrust each other even more. Then we must rely
on complex cumbersome systems to keep us from hurting
each other (or those who would hurt us). It's not hard
to create distrust once we're stupid enough to believe
what we're told. And they know exactly what to say:
They accuse everyone (but you and me, buddy), of being
what they are: Evil. (Or insane.) Maybe they even believe this.
If enough of us do, no doubt it becomes true.
______________________________________________________
To fight cancer, choose a combination of shark cartilage and
caviar; that is, elect roe-shark treatment. But first, have your
doctor administer a Roe-Shark Test.
___________________________________________________
The New Dolls
Looking at Barbie dolls in the store,
I remember the rubbery dolls my sisters played with
and old porcelain- faced, cloth-torsoed infants and Raggedy Anns
passed down from earlier generations. These were large,
often elegant and represented babes. Little girls
were to become mommies, so their dolls were babies to mother.
For what do we prepare girls by giving them bimbos to care for?
Is this what they should become? OK,
having one's kid become a bimbo MAY get her into the White House.
But if dolls are what girls CARE for, what does it mean
to have them care for what they are to become?
They learn to dress stylishly, buy shoes, puff up their dyed hair....
Having babies is said to be a narrow idea of one's potential,
but having only oneself is even narrower.
If I were a parent, foreseeing old age and nursing homes,
I'd give my kids old-person dolls to take care of.
There'd be single-family doll houses to put them in.
They'd pop out smiling. There'd be a toy nursing home:
If you put the old-person dolls inside them,
they'd stagger out bent and ghastly. I'd give them
wind-up dolls that walk away, then can't find their way home,
dolls that need to be turned over in their doll beds, dolls that
talk,
telling the same long story over and over, saying, "Stop me
if you've heard this," but not stoppable.
Dolls in yellow-stained underwear.
But perhaps children, and thus the encouragement of mothering,
will soon be "in" again. Kids are easy to manage now.
You just drug them.
If they squirm at school, or are easily upset, don't find out why.
Drug them. It's covered by insurance.
What a joy to be a parent when all the trials of raising children
become symptoms. And if the kids still won't behave,
everyone's good papa, the local shrink, drugs the parents.
So, toy companies, lead the way: Dolls that squirm.
They'll come with bottles of pretty pills.
You push pills into the doll's mouth,
and it stops squirming and smiles at you.
Dolls that cry real tears. You dose them, and they smile.
Dolls that, after you dose them, still smiling, dismantle other
dolls.
Dolls that, once dosed, must be dosed again and again regularly,
or they hang themselves. Dolls that pretend to swallow,
then sell their pills to other dolls. Dolls that attack you
with tiny plastic hands in your dreams until YOU take some of their
pills...
HEY - PAY ATTENTION! (If your attention wanders,
tomorrow's children will know how to fix you.)
Don't be afraid of the children of the future.
Be afraid of the people who are letting this be done to children
now.
They must be very evil. They may be - and this is the scary part
--
they may be us.
____________________________________________
Warning: Under Drug-Emulated Time, Applications
Developed to Run in Present Time May Crash
To make time stand still, move very fast to keep
exactly even with it, and there stands time,
as still as a runner keeping my pace just abreast,
as someone talks to me, saying, apparently,
the same thing over and over, though it's hard
to tell, it's so fragmented, just a stutter
each time I fall infinitesimally off the pace:
"Wha-a-a-a-a-t-s-a-a-a-ts-a-a-ts-wr-o-o-a-t-s-
wr-o-o-ng-ng-ng?-ng?-ng?" "Nothing but your faces
falling apart and together like a hand of cards
you're repositioning," I say, but only "Nothing"
(taking forever) comes out and now I'll never
be able to catch up with time again. Everything is
just here, old, used up, left behind.
____________________________________
20th Century Express
Professors claim we're just our brains.
We wisely nod and follow
Our neighbors into shrieking trains
To learn the cost of hollow.
___________________________________________
"The Doctor does not validate," warns a sign
in the outer office of a psychiatrist.
____________________________________
6 million kids in the USA on Ritalin. Poetry --
any poetry -- seems too little too late. Peppermint
Prozac for preschoolers -- what can be done
for them? Too late for the too little.
____________________________________
Written in the 80's: "The President strengthens
the CIA. The First Lady campaigns for Mental
Health. I jog daily, hoping there will be
somewhere to run to."
____________________________________
Magazine tests – Are you depressed?
Do you have Attention Deficit Disorder?
They never give you the test for sanity?
What are the characteristics of the UNdepressed (manic?)
or the Attention Surplus people?
And if you have some depressed traits
along with some undepressed traits,
should you be treated for SI (Symptom Irregularity)?
Well, think for yourself. But don't do it
in the presence of anyone who is liable to decide
that thought is a chemical disorder of the brain.
_____________________________________
Shrinks define all behavior as abnormal:
All roads lead to syndrome.,
every path a psychopath.
_______________________
One Word, Son...Anaesthesiology!
We've solved childbirth: Women, persuaded that
childbirth is an impossible ordeal, let themselves
be drugged, the babies removed from them --
painlessly. But this is only the beginning:
Lovemaking too is outrageous --and surely
is part of the cycle of childbirth (what goes in
must come out). Soon men and women will no longer
inflict the pangs of sex upon each other
in the absence of professional facilities,
but will enter a hospital to make "love"
(all to be covered by a new Health Plan),
where an anaesthesiologist can attend to ensure
that sex is painless -- no moans, no screams,
no grunting exertions, ticklish convulsions --
and a physician will, as needed, extract and inject
sperm surgically, in case the drugged lovers
need assistance.
Should a woman conceive, medical insurance
will support CONTINUED anaesthesia for her:
Pregnancy is painful, embarrassing and
often depressing, something to which no one
should be subjected. And post-natally,
should bottle-feeding not satisfy the infant,
of COURSE all breast-feeding must be sedated:
Who would willingly have her nipple yanked at
and toothed by a drooling homunculus!
Best of all, those of us who must pay the taxes
to support such services will be sedated
most of the time --at least on paydays and
throughout the tax season. Soon "Natural
Tax Paying" will be a distant unpleasant memory.
_____________________________________
My memories were painful,
So they took out a brain-full.
You really meant a lot to me
before my mentalotomy.
_______________________
Poor Beethoven – He Wasn't Nuts After All
The experts examined and X-rayed Beethoven's hair --
it was in the news. No mercury, so it wasn't
syphilis that ruined his health, no,
it was lead poisoning, probably aggravated
by lead-saturated water in the spa
where he bathed in an effort to get healthier.
He was an odd one. Those who prefer to hack
odd giants down to their own size will be disappointed
there was no mercury. And a little paragraph
near the end of the article, lighting up
the paper's dirty gray (and no doubt
further disappointment for those who would prefer
to explain genius as madness) --
"No metaboloids of drugs were present", which
(explains a Beethoven's-Hair expert)
means that despite a long, excruciating illness,
he took no painkillers, "...wanting to keep his mind
clear for music."
And so, as life evaporated,
he was able to give us the late quartets
and other painful, but crystalline precipitates.
(Not, of course -- definitely NOT, perish
the thought! -- that any stigma should be attached
to those who treat with appropriate medication
their purely medical condition
of being creative artists, a condition now known
to be a chemical imbalance of the brain,
something to be pitied, not scoffed at
nor stigmatized, because, remember,
in the absence of appropriate medication,
one in every 6 billion of us
may be afflicted with Late String Quartets
or Seventh Symphonies.)
_________________________________
Freedom of the Pressionism
Impressionism, Abstract Expressionism
and the new fad: Clinical Depressionism.
________________________________
Blockbusters Not Yet Optioned
The Invisible Man revisited:
Wanting power, a brilliant mad scientist
(what brilliant scientist isn't mad?)
swallows his invisibility potion -- success!
Except the potion also, slowly but surely,
makes him blind. Now no one can see him
as he moves among them, and he can see
no one, as he moves through a world
of invisible people. (Oof! Ouch! Watch it!)
Re-revisited: The Invisible Man finds himself
(quite a chore in itself) in the Land of the Blind,
where he is made king by a population to whom
he is as visible (by touch) as anyone else. In fact,
he envies the ability of his subjects
to "see" him (as only the blind can see),
for he cannot see himself.
Re-re-revisited: A free, bodiless spirit,
pursued by tele- and psychopathic wizards,
possesses a body and hides in it,
becoming invisible, as no one notices the spirit,
seeing only a body.
I will now do my impression of THE INVISIBLE MAN
Everyone, please close your eyes...TADA!!!
_________________________________
TV sucks up our attention. We'd like a refund,
but first pay off the national attention deficit.
___________________________________
Dear Reader,
I must apologize for a recent statement of mine implying that scientists
are stupid. We owe a great deal to Scientific Reasoning. For example,
as everyone knows, Science has established that, when you die, that's
it. Scientists established this by dying and reporting back that
they had ceased to exist...no, by questioning OTHERS who had died
and reported back that they had ceased to exist...no, by observing
that when people die, their bodies cease to respond, as, when someone
at the other end hangs up the phone, the phone ceases to respond,
which in this case proves that death is the end of us, because there
ISN'T anyone at the other end of the line because, as everyone knows,
Science has proven that we ARE our bodies, and this is proven by
the fact that death is the end of us, and we know that death is
the end of us because it is inconceivable that something as degraded
as a body could be immortal and besides, if we WEREN'T our bodies,
we'd be able, for example, to have out-of- body experiences (unless
we weren't our bodies, but weren't able to have out-of-body experiences
-- if, for example, we were trapped in our bodies), and everyone
knows that Science has proven that people can probably be induced
to hallucinate out-of- body experiences, which proves that all out-of-body
experiences are hallucinatory, just as the fact that people can
be induced to hallucinate IN-body experiences proves that..., no,
what I mean is, obviously out-of-body experiences are hallucinatory
because, as everyone knows, Science has established that when you
die, that's it...
Gosh, what it comes down (way down) to is that "Science"
(at least those sciences that pretend to know something about the
soul or "psyche") is what everyone knows, the superstition
of our time. But we mustn't forget the fortuitous discoveries that
have resulted from false assumptions. For example, by assuming that
there's no one really THERE to make decisions, psychiatrists have
discovered all sorts of "medications" that can make people
sit still or anaesthetize their grieving. And great leaders have
discovered that they can destroy millions of bodies to achieve their
ambitions and feel no regrets (because there was never anybody there
-- and if a leader begins to doubt this, there are medications...).
_________________________________________________________________________
An Enigma
Now that we're relieving psychotics of their stigmas,
How about compassion for bad breath and borborygmus?
___________________________________________
"Is it true," we asked Herr Doktor,
"that the first concentration camps
in Nazi Germany (like Dachau) were established
for the Reich by psychiatrists, who also
pioneered the killing techniques (like gas)
used in the death camps?" "Well...
we never promised you a rose garden."
_____________________________-
Prozacolantern
To extract your sadness,
I will scoop out your innards,
replacing them with a dime-store candle
that will glow behind the smile I will carve
in your face to greet ghosts and goblins.
________________________________
When Smart Bombs Go Bad
[Written during bombing of Serbia, not to oppose the
bombing, but to suggest what it can't solve.]
Dear Editor,
I understand and share the outrage of those who condemn the tragic
bombings of buses, apartment complexes, the Chinese embassy and
other inappropriate targets in recent raids, but I think it important
that we try to understand these bombs, not dismiss them as dumb
or monstrous devices.
After all, for every smart bomb that goes astray and wipes out
women, children and old men, 100 bombs correctly wipe out the uniformed
husbands, sons and parents of those women, children and old men.
And bombs that go bad are not BAD bombs. They are bombs that got
in with a bad crowd; bombs, typically, that didn't fit in, so that
all the other smarties picked on them; bombs that had no other way
to attract the attention they so desperately needed; bombs that
looked to US for guidance in all that turmoil of gust and fog, but
found themselves lost, alone, aimless; bombs brought up on TV shows
and movies full of random STUPID violence, where ANY explosion is
cheered as long as it's big and loud.
Remember, no matter what monstrous things these bombs have done,
they are not monsters...or if they are, they are OUR monsters. We
need to communicate with our bombs, understand their needs and how
rough it is for them in today's heavy weather and high- speed, impersonal
warfare. We must TALK to our bombs. We must TEST our bombs early
and often to detect those with the potential for unsmart violence;
get them counseling BEFORE they go out of control.
But first we must learn to LOVE our bombs. If we want well-educated
bombs of which we can be proud, we must make the world a secure
and caring place for our bombs. Our bombs are our future, and our
future is the WORLD's future.
Sincerely Yours,
Laser Guidance Counselor and Editor of Detonations
______________________________________________________________________________
Why is Modern Poetry so Depressing?
It's so prosy! In fact, it might be called
a Prozactivity.
___________________________
Psimon Psays
As kids we used to play a game called "Simon Says".
One kid would give other kids orders, some preceded by the words
"Simon says", for example, "Simon says, take one
step forward", and all the other kids would take one step forward.
From time to time the leader would omit the magic words, saying,
for example, "Step back" and anyone doing so would be
penalized because the leader had not said "Simon says step
back."
We still play that game today: "You're nuts!" Just a
figure of speech. Psy-man psays, "You have a severe disorder!"
A psyentific fact. "He's sad." Cheer him up or let him
be. Psy-man psays, "He's clinically depressed." Drug him.
"He's energetic." Boys will be boys. Psy-man psays, "He's
hyperactive." Drug him. "She's angry." Laugh at her,
soothe her, leave her alone, get angry back at her, find out what's
wrong. Psy-man psays, "Oppositional Defiance Disorder."
Drug her.
"He's like a zombie." "She's acting suicidal."
"He's not himself. I don't recognize my son since he went on
that medication." Psy-man psays: "We'll up the dosage."
"We'll prescribe another drug." "No, the drug couldn't
have caused that." "He'll have to stay with us for a while."
"Shock him." "Don't worry -- his teacher says he's
quiet and co-operative in class."
"His insurance has run out." Oh no! Psy-man psays, "He's
well now." "Her insurance has no cap." Thank God
for psychiatric parity. Psy-man psays, "She'll have to stay
with us indefinitely. She needs close supervision."
"He's dead." Bury him. Grieve (but not where Psy-man can
psee you). Psy-man psays, "You came to us too late. Please
psign this waiver."
"This whole set-up is nuts. The shrinks are ruining our children.
Sue them. Stop them. Make them pay!" Psy-man says, "Psorry,
you have no psyentific credentials, because you didn't psay 'Psy-man
psays.'"
Poet says, "ARGGGGH!" What do you say? Not that it can
possibly matter if you lack that psypecial authority. Psigh!
I'd like to go back to Simple Simon and the Pie (not psy) man. We
need to look about us, see where we are, what planet, what universe.
Touching a wall may help. It will probably just stand there, but
if you keep touching it, it may detach itself from some imaginary
wall in some imaginary place where most of us must be living to
allow the psy-man such powers in the realm of solid walls and all-too-solid
children. Where are we? O universe, let me taste your wheres!
_____________________________________________________________________________
Flash: Mental Health experts announce
that abusive priests suffer from
a psychiatric diocese.
______________________________
Kids shoot up their schools,
mothers drown their kids;
pretty new tablets (green, purple)
replace the shattered tablets of the law,
abetting Premedicated murder.
__________________________________
Poor criminals -- they'd do what they ought,
If they weren't sick: It's malaise aforethought.
___________________________________
Today on the radio I hear people expound
on the Joys of Prozac, the joy, for example,
of not caring about other people's feelings,
the joy of being locked in the inching edge
of an emotional glacier. They sound
so happy about it: Invasion of the Body Snatchers,
pod people, wearing the bodies of loved ones,
telling the hold-outs, now don't resist,
go to sleep, you'll love it, really!
Do people look at me as suspiciously, when I
tout the joys of freedom? Scared humans
are nearly as cute as the mice who scrabble
at the vents on the trap, rather than notice
I've opened the top, and they are free to go
___________________________________
Psychoanalysis: Aberration elaboration.
___________________________________
Objectionable Correlative
Flash! Scientists announced today
that, contrary to popular expectations,
a donut hole is chemically indistinguishable
from an asshole.
In doughnut shops all over the world
devotees of science are struggling
to squeeze their heads through
donut holes.
______________________________
Explosions and assassinations stir our terror.
Drugs numb our terror, substituting apathy.
Apathy is closer to death than terror,
which can, at least, throw up an arm to avert
what apathy awaits stuporously, can at least
scream. Thus apathyists (for example, psychiatrists,
purveyors of drugs that numb us) are far more dangerous
than terrorists.
_______________________________
To become a psychiatrist,
one must first become a doctor,
psychiatry being considered the medical specialty
where one learns to doctor
research results.
___________________________
The bad news is that psychiatry has decided
man is nothing but meat.
The good news, nutritionally speaking,
is that psychiatry can convert that meat
to vegetables.
________________________________
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist
for help
needs his head examined.
___________________________
Illiteracy and ADHD
Reading without phonetics,
The kids become Frenetics.
Don't know a word? Can't lip it?
Just take a guess...or skip it:
The skipped words make you antsy?
A little necromancy --
It's painless, little'un,
A dose of Ritalin --
And you'll be nice and calm, be
Just another zombie.
_______________________
School Days, Cruel Days...
While their classes play,
Hear Johnny's teachers say,
"Children are just midgets,
Suffering from the fidgets.
Little Johnny's wild --
He's acting like a child!
Scolding doesn't work.
He's driving us berserk!
We can only hope he ate
His zombie-making opiate."
_______________________
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